Monday, November 26, 2012

A Dissertation - Female on Male Domestic Violence and their Effects on Relationship


          



     Abstract

This dissertation will discuss the issue and occurrence of Female-on-Male domestic violence. The aim of the study is to discover whether male victims feel they have been treated fairly and adequately by the public services such as the police and social services. Also it is aimed that how male victims willing to talk these matters publicly. There it is concern that two example pools from Europe and Sri Lanka.



Introduction

This is an area which studies worthwhile   have to be conducted. Personnel experiences in lot of exposure in the female abusing male which is a quite common occurrence in the alien communities who reside in Europe Specially Sri Lankan & other Asian communities. The contributory   factor is addiction to Alcohol which had become a hobby to the Males who do mostly Blue collar jobs which needs lo of physical strength. Furthermore inadequate knowledge of language of the country domiciled had worsened the situation. So when inquiry is held by security social, therapist, police, judiciary etc. poor language skills & alcoholism are major drawbacks for males.

                 In the end children are innocent   victims of the situation which they suffer in silence .I would like to quote 02 true incidents with the permission of relevant parties which took place due to alcoholism. First incident was a member of the Indian Sikh community kills by   stabbing brutally   his wife to death because of rivalry(argument) he had with his mother in law about two decades ago even after they had grown up children. Second incident Sri Lankan wife suspecting his husband having an affair with her own sister who lives with them use her children as a witness to get divorce from her husband who happened to be in love for ten years before she got married. Strangely both are married from love affairs had a very good family life. In both incidents both ladies were very   flaunt in the language (French) & men were hard working alcoholics.

               The situation of a male victim is further aggravated by the fact human rights laws takes more biased approach towards male while situation of the female is who happen to be perpetuator  more often get scot free.

                                
                                               Methodology

The dissertation will study itself will aim to replicate the findings. Some theories of domestic Abuse will briefly be discussed in order to gain an idea as to why women abuse their male partners. The Study will be conducted using self-completion questionnaires and the results from these will then be compared with the literature already conducted on female-on-male domestic abuse to see if they are Supportive of one another. The dissertation will conclude with some recommendations for further improvement of the public services and how they treat male victims of abuse. The recommendations will be from both the researcher and the respondents of the research. The dissertation will conclude with some recommendations for further improvement of the public Services   and how they treat male victims of abuse. The recommendations will be from both the researcher   and the respondents of the research.


Research Design


This research will take form, similarly to the survey conducted by The Mankind Initiative. Questions are focused mainly on the provisions available to male victims of domestic abuse. This research will aim to discover what the victims’ treatment was from the public services and their views of the Provisions available. As much of the literature review has found, there aren’t many provisions for men and they are often treated inadequately by the public services, especially the police. This research proposes that male victims do not receive satisfactory aid from the public services and this is what the research hopes to prove true. Similarly to the Mankind survey, this piece of research will consist of both qualitative and quantitative data.

Due to the nature of the research and the time scale and funding available to the researcher, the research will be conducted using solely questionnaires. This is because it will be quick and easy to gain a response, and as interviews can be time consuming, participants may be more inclined to answer questions in the form of a questionnaire. Also, as the nature of the research is sensitive, many participants would benefit from a questionnaire as it can give them full anonymity. The research will be conducted via e-mail through the Men’s Aid website.

                                                   

                                                        Design Sampling

The sampling method that will be used in the research is snowballing. This is mainly due to the way in which the research will be conducted, via email or websites. The reason for this is because it is the Easiest, most effective way to gain a study population, and as the research topic is sensitive, Snowballing is an ideal sampling method. “Snowball sampling is a form of convenience sample…with this approach to sampling; the Researcher makes initial contact with a small group of people who are relevant to the research Topic and then uses these to establish contacts with others.”(Bryman, A. 2001) If the researcher were to use random sampling by asking passersby in the street, it is unlikely that many would agree to participate or even to answer the questions honestly. To start the sample population, the researcher will email some of the website members to ask if they would be willing to Participate. This will be done randomly to members of the websites. Once the researcher has gained the first participants of the sample, it will then be possible to ask if they would be willing to introduce more people to the research. As the participants already involved are a member of a website relating to the research, it is likely that they will know people from similar situations who would also be willing to participate. There are, however, some problems with snowball sampling “It is very unlikely that the sample will be representative of the population [and this] may be problematic in some Circumstances.” (Ibid: 2000) However, as this research is aimed specifically at male victims of domestic abuse, snowballing is the ideal sampling method for this Research method to conduct this research the questionnaire will be designed specifically for male victims of domestic abuse. Due to the information gathered from other sources it has been found that many male victims do not get treated fairly by the public services. The questions will aim to discover how male victims were treated by the public services, specifically the police, and if there are enough provisions, such as hostels, for male victims of domestic abuse. The questionnaires will self-completion questionnaires and will be sent to participants via the charity website Men’s Aid, this is a civil rights organization charity for men which also helps male victims of domestic abuse.



Discussion

The literature review section of the dissertation will look at some different themes which were discovered within the literature. The first of which is the stereotype of domestic abuse. This will focus mainly on the study conducted by Ann Grady (2002) female-on-male domestic abuse: uncommon or ignored? The following section will discuss the occurrence of domestic abuse against men, by looking at facts and figures found within the literature. The third section will look at the reasons behind female violence and will focus on Dr. Martin S. Fiebert’s work of women who initiate assaults on their partners. The final two sections are most relevant to the study and look at the help available for male victims and the support they receive from public services. Domestic Abuse Stereotype from researching domestic abuse it is evident that the stereotypes of victims are that of women being abused by their male partners. This is apparent from the websites available showing support services for victims of domestic abuse. There are only two charities in England and Wales which are for men specifically who help with male victims of domestic abuse. As the stereotype is that of female victims, there is not much academic research specifically aimed at male victims, and for this reason, this piece of research will focus on the male victims of domestic abuse.

It is first necessary to look at the reasons that women and not men are considered the victims of domestic abuse. The best place to start is the research conducted by Ann Grady; this is the only piece of academic research the researcher found which focuses solely on male victims of domestic abuse. Grady discusses in great detail the reasons why feminism has resulted in the stereotype of the domestic violence victim being female. She discusses the basic principles of the feminist study as regarding the gendered structure of society as the cause of female oppression, and states: “It is thus evident that core feminist principles are seen to have specific application to domestic violence research. Feminists view the gendered structure of society as an instrumental facilitator ofviolence against women. Men are the holders of public and private power, which creates a subordinate underclass of women. By holding this power they exercise ‘social control’ over women, which at its extreme is expressed using violence, especially within the home.”
(Grady, 2002) As the feminist perspective on domestic abuse has been so strong in recent years this has therefore meant that male victims have subsequently been deselected from any sample groups and “accordingly, one can assert that the feminist analysis of domestic violence is gender-biased, and its findings will reflect such a bias.” (Ibid, 2000) Grady discuses other writers research which has left out the occurrence of the male victim, she states that many researchers do this due to past research which shows women are the majority of victims but she also says that “Some writers do not even bother to justify their subject group, clearly implying they see domestic violence to be a female issue.” (Ibid, 2000) Grady, however does say that there is an exception to this and that is the research of analyzed police records, as these are measured in a more quantitative fashion, it shows a more rounded picture of the extent of domestic violence.

However one problem with this is that many male victims don’t report their abuse to police due to the stigma attached. Although this will be discussed in more detail further on, it implies that police records may not be as reliable as originally thought due to the lack of reporting by male victims. Grady concludes her criticisms of the feminist method by stating: “This stereotype perpetuates a social perception of domestic violence as an offence committed by men against women. The application of this stereotype is at its greatest within domestic violence response agencies, as they have been most directly informed by the feminist analyses of domestic violence. Indeed, the majority, such as refuges and help lines, have been established as a direct result of the need to support ‘battered women’ identified within research.” (Ibid, 2000) Similarly to Grady, the researcher has also found that in academic textbooks and research, the male victim is not mentioned at all. For example in the text book Criminology by Stephen Jones, there is a chapter about violent and aggressive offences, in which there is a sub-chapter about spouse or partner abuse. From the title ‘spouse or partner abuse’ it would seem that the content would be gender neutral but it is not, and discusses the feminist view briefly. “In Britain, violence in the home is generally referred to as domestic violence; although some feminist writers argue that the term ‘domestic’ is misleading, as it implies that the private nature of the abuse is more important than its gendered nature.” (Jones,  2006)

This suggests that Jones agrees with the stereotype of domestic abuse to be about gender and this is supported by the fact that he doesn’t discuss male victims in his chapter on violent offences. The article by David Hughes found on the ‘Manorma’ website, also supports the view of Grady where feminism has played a part in the stereotypical view of the domestic violence victim. Hughes discusses the case of Erin Pizzey the feminist who opened the first women’s refuge in 1971. Pizzey wrote a book Prone to Violence, which was censored in England for over 20 years due to the opinions expressed in it. In Pizzey’s book she claimed, “Of the first 100 women who entered the refuge, 64 of them were as violent, or more violent, than the men they were allegedly running away from.” (Hughes, 2005) As Pizzey was a feminist herself, she faced problems from fellow feminists for discussing the equal culpability between men and women with the issue of domestic abuse, and this was not well received by other feminists, hence the censorship of Prone to Violence.  The stereotype of domestic violence victims being female is also exacerbated by media influences. The media will often run stories about female victims, and campaigns such as the recent campaign by women’s aid, will only focus on female victims. The recent campaign uses “famous female faces, made up to show the physical effects of domestic violence” This is a very effective campaign because it dramatically shows the physical marks domestic abuse can cause, and it is depicted on celebrity faces that the public like and can relate to. The problem is, it only depicts women, and this will encourage the public to still consider the stereotypical view that women are the only victims of domestic abuse. Such charities, which help female victims of domestic abuse, also dominate the awareness of domestic abuse. Not only do they launch television campaigns such as the one mentioned above, but they also provide help for female victims, and these to be very widely publicized. There are posters and leaflets in police stations and other public places such as libraries, in which there are few to raise awareness of male victims of domestic abuse. The researcher found a leaflet; in a local library which was publicizing “Wirral’s only dedicated domestic abuse drop-in center” through reading the leaflet, the researcher found that it gave a definition of domestic abuse. It states: ”Domestic Abuse refers to the physical, emotional, sexual, financial or social abuse of one person by someone they know.” The researcher thought this was a good and relevant definition, as it didn’t discriminate against gender. However reading on it says:
“It can affect anyone regardless of age, class, social stats, education, ethnicity, or sexual orientation.” This seems to include anyone except different sexes; it doesn’t state that men also can be the victims of domestic abuse. As there are few leaflets such as this one to help male victims of domestic abuse, it can leave them feeling more alone and like they have no one to turn to for support and assistance.

Many male victims of domestic abuse don’t realize they are victims again due to the stereotype as they also believe that women are the only victims of this form of abuse. The researcher did find one leaflet which is specifically designed for male victims of domestic abuse; however this was taken from the Men’s Aid website and not found in a public place like the previous one. It gives good advice to men who are suffering effects of domestic abuse, including some practical advice and the Men’s Aid help line number. This leaflet would provide very useful for men who are victims of domestic abuse; however it would be more useful if the leaflet was more widely available in public places such as police stations and doctor’s surgery’s etc. Many of the news articles used for this research also support the view that domestic violence is a crime of men against women, not the other way around. For example two articles began by giving information about the domestic abuse, which was suffered. They then later continued to state that the abused was in fact a man. One of the articles was written by a male victim of domestic abuse, Daniel Hoste (Daniel Hoste is a pseudonym). Hoste Creates a picture of the abuse suffered, describing being punched and strangled, for the simple reason of leaving a door open. Then Hoste asks the reader to imagine that the attacker was not a stranger but in fact someone who you love. In the second paragraph Hoste says: “The emotional abuse was much worse: the physical marks have healed; my mental scars will never go away. The other thing worth mentioning is that I’m a man.” (Hoste, 2002) This is done by the writer to shock the reader, by playing up to the stereotype that domestic abuse only happens to women. It begins by getting the emotions of the reader aroused and then shocks them by announcing his sex. This seems to make the article seem much worse as the language and descriptions are graphic, as a reader you picture a woman writing it and experiencing it.

Similarly to the article by Hosted, another article found on the Canada.com website starts describing the abuse before naming the victim as a man. “Terry is like any other spouse who has suffered physical abuse at a partner’s hands. The shame, the stigma, the sticking it out in the hopes that things will change – all of these are part of Terry’s experience…Terry is not his real name. Yes, you just read a masculine pronoun.” (Hatherly, 2006) Again this has been done to shock the reader, as the stereotypical view is that the woman is the victim of domestic abuse. Not only is there a stereotype that women are the victims of domestic abuse, not men. There is also a stereotype that male victims are small, weedy men who are unable to protect themselves. However from the research conducted, this is not necessarily the case, in a lot of cases this is in fact the opposite. A lot of physically strong men, that society wouldn’t expect to be victims, in fact are. News articles from BBC London, discuss the case of one man, George Rolph, who was on the receiving end of domestic abuse. The article begins by describing George as “6ft 4in. He weighs in at 14 stone and is a trained karate instructor.” (bbc.co.uk) this shows that the common misconception that male victims are week is untrue, however as it is a news article; this could just be used to grab the public’s attention. Although this isn’t the only article where the physical attributes of both partners are discussed. For example, the article discussed previously written by Daniel Hosted describes how he is 6ft 1” and his abuser was a petite 5ft 4”. The physical attributes of those involved are also found in the article from New Magazines. This article is from the perspective of a female abuser, and is about a woman Sarah Jordan, who abused two of her husbands. In this article, Jordan states, “Both my first and third Husbands were over 6ft tall, and towered over my 5ft-5in frame.” (Jordan, 2006)


The study conducted by Grady fits in well with the perception that male victims are seen as small ‘Weedy men. In her study, Grady interviewed police officers about domestic violence incidents. Grady used non-gendered language, when discussing incidents, to see what the police officers would intemperate the situation to be about. “The purpose of the interviews was to identify, first, any explicit reliance upon a male-on female stereotype.” (Grady,  2002) Grady found from her research that the police rely upon the male-on-female stereotype of domestic violence. As Grady found that most police officers rely on the male-on-female stereotype, she called into question the validity of police statistics as many of them were not going into occurrences open minded. However, when officers where asked if they had encountered female-on-male domestic abuse, Grady found that: “Ten of the 17 appeared to operate upon a stereotype of female-on-male abuse…For instance P14 assumed that ‘a small stature man, very thin and about seven stone, wet through, is your typical male victim…A surprising aspect of this part of the interview was the humor that some officers attached to the concept of female-on-male abuse. The immediate reaction of two officers   being asked about male victims was to laugh.” (Ibid, 2000) Some of the comments Grady’s participants said were completely the opposite of what the researcher found. Many of the victims the researcher read about were not small men, but in fact larger and physically stronger than the female who was abusing them. Grady’s comments on stereotypes of domestic abuse seem apt to describe the stereotypes the researcher has come across whilst researching domestic violence. “It appears that a domestic violence stereotype exists in two forms: the stereotype of male-on female abuse…and the disbelieving comedic stereotype of female-on-male violence” (Ibid, 2000).Occurrence of domestic abuse against men. There are conflicting facts and figures about the occurrence of domestic abuse against men, but it has come to be known more recently that men and women are equally capable of being the victims of violence at the hands of a partner. For example an interview with Sarah Jordan, as mentioned previously, conducted on ITV’s This Morning program; the presenter says that their own This Morning survey found that 1 in 6 men are the victims of domestic abuse, and that also 30 men die a year as a result of domestic abuse. This is supported by an article printed in The Independent which states that “1 in 6 men are victims of domestic violence” (Verkaik, 2003) However, the article in New! Magazine states that “according to the 2004 British Crime Survey, a fifth of all reported domestic violence is against men.” (Jordan, 2006)

The facts in the different articles are often conflicting and can be confusing in knowing the true extend of female-on-male domestic abuse. However this could be due to the lack of academic research in this area. The television documentary ‘Hidden Lives: Battered Men’ which was screened on channel 5, 30th October 2006, used some statistics from the British Crime Survey to support the extent of violence committed by females against their male partners. This documentary stated that 22 per cent of domestic violence victims are men and that only 19 per cent of these report the abuse they have suffered. Although this documentary gives some facts from a reliable source it doesn’t give the full details of where the facts were taken from, such as the date. A different article by the Daily Mail claims that men are “at greatest risk of domestic violence” (McCullagh, 2006) and that more men report domestic violence to their doctor. However dissimilarly to other articles, this one states where the source has come from. The information in this article was taken from a study conducted by Trinity College in Dublin, where they found that “52 percent of men and 43 per cent of women attending their family doctors have experienced domestic violence.” (Ibid, 2000) Probably the most reliable source of information, which discusses the occurrence of domestic violence, is study 191 conducted by the Home Office in 1999. This study has been used for examples of violence in both the domestic abuse leaflet provided by Men’s aid and in David Hughes’ article. This study looks at the findings from the British Crime survey. Its main findings were that: “4.2% of women and 4.2% of men said they had been physically assaulted by a current or former partner in the past year.” (Mirrlees-Black, 1999: vii) This would seem most accurate as the British crime survey includes crimes, which haven’t been reported or recorded, and many domestic crimes often go unreported. It also shows that the crime of domestic violence doesn’t discriminate against gender.

Basically this case study was done using cases we found on Europe and Sri Lanka. This was given to few Sri Lankans so as to get the survey done. It’s noticed that most of them been embarrassed to give their comments on the matter. Unlike in Europe countries Asian countries, male has role in a family and female also has a significant role in a family. So it is noticed that people rarely open to talk their family matters in public. Even they like to talk about it, we understood that they fear about the society thought this survey was fully confidential. Out of the people willing to take part in the survey, we barely managed to get full answers for all the questions.





Reference
Books

Bryman, A. (2004) Social Research Methods:
2nd  Ed. Oxford, Oxford University Press

Bryman, A. & Cramer, D. (1997) Quantitative Data Analysis with SPSS for Windows:
 A guide for social scientists. London, Routledge

Researches

Fitzgerald, S. & Hoolahan, S. (2003) Domestic Abuse Survey of Male Victims & Proposals for Service Provision. The Mankind Initiative

Weatherly, J. (1997) Confronting Male Violence and Constructing Masculinity: A Case Study of the Merseyside Development Unit. Liverpool John Moores University


Web Articles

Corry, C. E., Fiebert, M., S. & Pizzey, E. (2002) Controlling Domestic Violence Against Men. Found at http://www.ejfi.org/DV/dv-6.htm


Hoff, B. H. (1999) Why women assault: Review of Fiebert & Gonzalez, College women Who Initiate assaults on their Male Partners and the Reasons Offered for Such Behaviour. Menweb on-line journal (ISSN: 1095-5240 http://www/menweb.org/fiebetg.htm)

Hughes, D. Domestic Violence Against Men. Found at
http://homepage.ntlworld.com/verismo/dv.againstmen.html

ITV (‘This Morning’) Domestic Violence and male victims. Found at:
http://www.parents4protest.co.uk/media/itvthismorning_maledv.wmv


Appendix

Appendix 1
Questionnaire and answers

1) Have you ever been the victim of domestic abuse?
Yes No

2) Was this abuse (please mark boxes relevant)
Physical Mental Financial Sexual Other

3) Was the perpetrator your female partner?
Yes No

4) How long did the abuse last for?
< 3months 3 months- 1-5 yrs 5-10 yrs 10+ yrs
1 yr

5) Did you report the abuse to anyone?
Friend Family Doctor Social Police Services Samaritans Men’s Aid Other please state

6) If you reported the police to police or social services did they believe you?
Yes No Unsure

7) If you reported the abuse to police or social services how did they treat you?
“As a joke”
“At first, no help. No apology re: police. Later the police were very considerate and did help me. I had no help from social services.” “With ridicule – ‘why don’t you learn to duck’ – ‘what are you, a man or a mouse-squeak up?’ ‘What did YOU do to HER’?”
“Very Badly”
“Not very well”
“Was not interested at all. However I made the mistake of retaliating on one occasion after years of abuse. I called the police and I was arrested and charged.”
“The police initially were aware that she regularly changed her stories and warned me, but that was in Spain in the UK the police refused to do anything. Social services stated that they knew of the abuse but now that we no longer live together there is less risk of the children witnessing it. The judge said I must have done something to deserve it.”

8) Did the police or social services take action upon the perpetrator? (if yes give details)
 Yes No Unsure

9) Were you satisfied with the action taken?
Yes No Unsure

10) Were you ever assumed (by police or social services) to be the perpetrator?
Yes No Unsure

11) Did you have to leave the family home?
Yes No

12) If you and your partner had children, where did they reside?
“With her, by court order”
“Shared care -70% with mother, 30% with me after splitting”
“In the family home”
“Her children in the same house, and were the cause of much of the hostility”
“With her, though she always displayed violence”
“Young children stayed with her”
“With my partner”
“The children live with the mother and I have been denied all contact since 1999”

13) If yes to q 11, where did you go? (Please state)
“My brother 2 years, then small flat”
“Into lodgings”
“Friend’s house – no other help available”
“Family”
“Slept in car for two weeks, until rented flat became available”
“Bed sit”

14) Was there any help from social services/ charity etc to find you a hostel?
Yes No

15) Was your case investigated/ prosecuted? (Please give details)
“Yes”
“No”
“Absolutely not”

16) Do you think there are enough services available to male victims of domestic abuse?
Yes No Don’t Know

18) Do you think there is enough publicity about domestic abuse against men?
Yes No Don’t Know

19) If not, what more could be done?
“More help for men victims”
“There should be equal media attention given to male victims & children victims of female
Perpetrators. The same goes for newspapers. But the silence (re: male victims & child) is deafening.”
 “At least give equality to men’s problems and provide equality of services to those made available to Women”
“Nationwide campaign”
“Tell the truth about the 50-50 split in domestic abuse rates and the fact more women harm children than men.”
If you have any other comments as to your treatment by the Criminal Justice system or how it could be improved please give details below.
“Equal support / protection / duty of care to all victims of DA / DV / False allegations / PAS. This is a victim issue – not a gender issue”
“The system does not accept that women can be violent”
“To be investigated the same way as if it was a female victim”
“Make it common knowledge what constitutes domestic violence, take the stigma out of men reporting cases of domestic violence, and treat men and women equally.”
“Prosecute charities that spread non-truthful statements and statistics on domestic violence, and fund men’s help lines and refuges.
“Remove the thought that children automatically go with the mother and make shared parenting the norm, so the children benefit from both parents.”
Make divorce financial settlements fairer so if possible both parents have a chance of affording to have a home for their children.”
“Along with the police investigations and other state agencies an allegation should always be treated as such and therefore evidence sought.”

Thank you for taking part in my survey. All information given will be kept confidential and no names or aliases will be disclosed. The information in the questionnaire above will be solely for statistical research for the purpose of our dissertation.

Thank you again for your help.

1 yes 1234 yes 1yr-5yrs 123567 no no yes yes no no
2 yes 124 yes
5yrs-
10yrs 457 no no unsure yes no no
3 yes 1234 yes 1yr-5yrs 123456 no no yes yes no no
4 yes 25 yes 1yr-5yrs 156 no yes yes yes no yes
5 yes 12345 yes 10+yrs 13568 no no unsure yes no no
6 yes 25 yes 3mth-1yr 128 0 0 0 no 0 no
7 yes 123 yes 3mth-1yr 15 no no no yes no no
8 yes 123 yes 1yr-5yrs 123458 yes no yes no no
9 yes 12 yes 10+yrs 125 no no yes yes no no
10 yes 1234 yes 1yr-5yrs 123457 unsure no yes yes no no
11 yes 24 yes 3mth-1yr 2456 unsure no unsure no no no
12 yes 12 yes 1yr-5yrs 237 0 0 0 yes 0 no
13 yes 1234 yes 1yr-5yrs 25 unsure no unsure yes 0 no
14 yes 12 yes 1yr-5yrs 123458 no no yes yes no no
15 yes 124 yes
5yrs-10yrs 257 unsure no unsure yes no no

Abuse column, numbers represent as follows: 1= physical, 2= mental, 3= financial, 4= sexual, 5= other

Report column, numbers represent as follows: 1= friend, 2= family, 3= doctor, 4= social services, 5=police, 6= Samaritans, 7= Men’s Aid,8= Other

Physical Mental Financial Sexual Other12 15 7 8 3

Length <3mnths 3mnth-1yr 1-5yrs 5-10yrs 10+yrs 0 3 8 2 2

Friend Family Doctor Social Services Police Samaritans Men's Aid Other 10 11 7 6 12 5 5 4

Belief Yes No Unsure N/A 1 8 4 2

Satisfied Yes No Unsure N/A 1 12 0 2

Assumed Yes No Unsure N/A 7 1 5 2

Leave Home Yes No 12 3

Services Yes No Don’t Know N/A 1 13 0 1

Publicity Yes No Don’t Know 4 11 0

Reported 12 Satisfied 0 Not Satisfied 12

13 comments:

  1. The Unspoken Abuse by Edward Charles

    A Story of Domestic Violence: When A Wife Becomes a Feared Companion

    Stories regarding domestic violence have held a home on bookstore shelves for many decades. These tales often involve a woman who is abused and dominated by the very man who should care about her the most. Typically, these books end up being a moving tale of female survival. However, there is another sinister side to these types of stories and those involve the man being the victim while the woman is the controlling and abusive partner.

    Such is the case in the riveting autobiographical book, The Unspoken Abuse, by author Edward Charles. This book provides an insightful and powerful view into the hellish life of one abuse survivor. Edward speaks candidly about the events of his life during this traumatic phase and leaves no stone unturned in revealing the truth behind his experiences. While once thought of as taboo, the author is forthright in his approach to this topic. His sincere hope is that others will learn from his own experiences and draw inspiration from his story.

    One telling review of this book indicates, “I literally started and finished this book in one day. What this man has had to ensure is heartbreaking. It brings to light a very real issue! Women and children are not the only ones to suffer at the hands of an abuser. Very poignant and moving.”

    Edward Charles had high hopes that he had found the love of his life when he met Angie. She was going through a bad divorce at the time that they met and Edward was more than happy to lend her his full love and support. Once they moved in together with Angie’s son, it seems like nothing but calm and love awaited them. This vision was shaken one night when Angie put out a cigarette on Edward’s wrist and embarked on a bizarre and brutal course of abuse towards him. He was not only physically mistreated, but mentally abused as well. With a daughter later in the picture, he struggled harder than ever to make peace with his wife and put an end to her violent tendencies. Reaching out to the authorities seemed almost hopeless, as they had a very difficult time grasping the concept of the wife as abuser and the husband as victim. Once he had finally escaped the grasp of Angie, Edward realized that while the abuse of him had come to an end she was now going to use their daughter as a weapon.

    The author crafts a raw and real picture for the reader. While at times the abuse is difficult to read about, the perseverance and grit of Edward is inspirational. This book unmasks some of the darkest secrets in society, while at the same time providing hope for others in a similar situation. Another review of this book reveals, “I think we all know women like this, but men are ashamed. It is sad that the children suffer so much.”

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